Larry Ellison loses his chance to overpay for a crappy NBA team

The problem was, it was too big to dock at most of the world’s marinas. So he dropped another pile of scratch to build a second, smaller one. Wow, nice problem to have.

His nautical spending spree hasn’t been limited to the building of boats, though, because he’s also taken to racing them. His Oracle team captured the America’s Cup (remember when Sports Illustrated used to actually cover Cup races?) earlier this year, which is only fitting since this event has been a haven for other batshit nuts billionaires ($1 to Ted Turner).

“Take that, Paul Allen! You, too, Bill friggin’ Gates! I’ve won the America’s Cup, a trophy that was kinda sorta relevant up until the mid-80’s!!!”

Larry then set his sights on trying to catch Allen in another arena: pro sports ownership. Years ago, Allen snapped up the Portland Trail Blazers and Seattle Seahawks before their price tags got too astronomical. In 1988 he got the Blazers for $70 million and nine years later plunked down $200 million to own the Seahawks.

It probably burns Ellison up that a nitwit from Microsoft owns not one but TWO more sports teams than he does. So when cash strapped Golden State Warriors owner Chris Cohan put his crappy franchise on the market, Ellison jumped into the mix.  For the record, Oracle already owns the naming rights to the arena in Oakland that the team plays in.

Just two days ago, the San Francisco Chronicle implied that it was a foregone conclusion that Ellison would buy the team:

According to those sources, Ellison, CEO of Oracle Corp., outbid 24-Hour Fitness founder Mark Mastrov, among others. If the current deal is completed, Ellison would control 80 percent of the franchise, and incumbent minority owners Michael Marks, Jim Davidson, John Thompson and Fred Harman would retain their stakes. (San Francisco Chronicle)

Once the dust had settled, though, Ellison lost out to Boston Celtics minority partner Joe Lacob and Mandalay Entertainment CEO Peter Guber.  Who?!?  Well, Guber I’ve heard of, he co-hosts that “In The House” show (which isn’t half bad) on Encore with Peter Bart.

Get this, the price tag for a franchise that’s made the playoffs once in 16 seasons?  A record $450 million.  Damn Larry, you should have gotten into this business when these teams were still cheap (well, relatively speaking, of course)!  However, a statement from Ellison today makes it appear that Lacob and Guber didn’t necessarily pony up more cash:

“Although I was the highest bidder, Chris Cohan decided to sell to someone else,” he said.  “In my experience this is a bit unusual.  Nonetheless, I wish the Warriors and their fans nothing but success under their new ownership.” (Forbes)

So let me get this straight…Ellison made the highest offer to an owner who has a huge tab with the IRS, and he WASN’T taken up on it?  Maybe it’s not that simple, as Frank Hughes of SI.com weighs in:

But Sal Galatioto, who brokered the sale for Cohan, said Ellison’s bid came in far too late. He said Cohan and Guber came to an agreement around July 4, and Ellison did not submit his bid — which Galatioto declined to expand upon but which one source said was only a few million more than the winner — until after the sides had started the closing process in the last few days.

“We are in business to turn down the high bidder?” Galatioto said. “How long would I be in business if I turned down the high bidder? I don’t think he believed we got a figure at 450 until it was too late.”

Those within the organization question whether Ellison ever even wanted to truly purchase the team. If he wanted it, they said, he could have had it. He is worth $27 billion, according to Forbes.

Instead, Ellison delayed a decision, seemingly unwilling to bid against himself, though Galatioto said he informed several of Ellison’s business partners on multiple occasions that they had a bid of $450 million and gave him plenty of time to respond.

Warriors employees reason that if Ellison was going to be that discerning about purchasing the team, he probably would not have been open to spending whatever it takes to turn around a team that seems to be in constant turmoil. (SI.com)

I have another theory: perhaps during negotiations, Cohan and his cronies just got fed up with Ellison’s massive ego and decided to go in another direction as a “F*#k you!” gesture.  If that’s the case, then it was worth losing millions of dollars to these guys so they could have that moment.  Seriously, don’t  you think you would become a little irritated sitting across the table from a maniac like this?: