The Larry King-ish Stream of Consciousness Column for 10/15

In this edition of the LKSOC we a role reversal for Texas and Nebraska, a quality hockey fight and Green(Red)man:

◊ 12 years later, Texas and Nebraska have switched roles

It was Halloween of 1998 and on that scariest of days, Mack Brown took his first Texas team up to Lincoln to butt heads with Frank Solich’s first Nebraska team. Brown had been charged with cleaning up the mess John Mackovic had left in Austin, and what a mess it was. Mackovic had generated four seasons of five or more losses versus one season of two losses or fewer.

You might not recall that the Longhorn fan base wasn’t exactly thrilled with the start of the Mack Brown Era. Three games into the ‘98 season, Brown’s record stood at 1-2 following an ugly 48-7 ass whipping at the hands of Kansas State. Coming into the Nebraska game, Texas had righted the ship somewhat and stood at 5-2. However, another loss before the end of October wouldn’t have done Brown any favors with the fans coming down the stretch.

While Brown was trying to restore Texas to past glory, Solich was trying to keep the good times rolling in Lincoln. In going 60-3 over his last five seasons at Nebraska, Tom Osborne had basically tossed Solich the keys to a Rolls Royce, much as Jake Ryan did with the Geek in “Sixteen Candles.” Going into the Texas game, the only bump in the road that Solich had hit in ‘98 was a 28-21 loss to Texas A&M on October 10.

Brown ended up notching the first major win of his Texas career at the expense of Solich that season by a 20-16 count (you can’t count Texas’s win over Oklahoma in week six because the Sooners sucked ass back then). Ricky Williams ran for a workmanlike 150 yards while the Longhorn defense held Nebraska to an un-Husker-like rushing total of 194 yards.

Fast forward to the present and the roles are somewhat reversed between the two programs. Brown is the grizzled coaching veteran trying to keep Texas in its perch atop the Big 12, while Nebraska’s Bo Pelini is trying to work Husker football back to a position of dominance.

Tomorrow, the teams get together again in Lincoln, and I couldn’t help but recall that meeting between them back in 1998.  But there’s some added spice in this one by virtue of Nebraska’s impending departure to the Big Ten.  One of the main reasons why the school decided to r-u-n-n-o-f-t was because of the influence that Texas wields over the Big 12.  With that in mind, do you think Nebraska would like nothing better than to kick Texas in the teeth on the way out the door?

Nebraska’s much more Husker-like (translation: reliance on the option ground game) than any team the school has had in nearly a decade.  It’s not a clone of the offense Tom Osborne ran, but more of a hodge podge of more “modern” option schemes employed by schools like Oregon and Georgia Tech with a little RichRod thrown in there.  On defense, Nebraska definitely resembles the Black Shirt defenses of the late Osborne era: this is a salty bunch that’s picked off 11 passes so far while holding the opposition to 128 yards passing a game.

Can Texas defensive coordinator Will Muschamp get his unit motivated enough to lay some licks on Nebraska quarterback Taylor Martinez?  Can the Texas offense do enough in the running game to keep the Huskers honest and give Garrett Gilbert some breathing room?  Can the ‘Horns overcome a horrible turnover margin that currently has them ranked 106th nationally?  If the answers to all those questions ends up being “No,” Texas will be in for a very long day.

◊ A career that’s definitely seen better days

I mentioned the flick “Sixteen Candles” in the previous section, and that got me thinking about how little I’ve seen lately of that movie’s star, Molly Ringwald. Check out what she’s been up to in the last 10 years courtesy of her IMDB page:

Who’s ever heard of most of this stuff?  I can only imagine how humiliating it must be to go from being a bankable box office star as a teenager to having to guest star on a shitty show like “Medium” in your late 30’s. If Ed Wood were alive today, he’d take one look at that list and say, “Wow, that’s some crappy stuff!”

◊ Finally, a hockey fight worth watching

I’m no hockey fan by any stretch of the imagination, but because I’m a red blooded American male, I’m by default a fan of a good hockey fight. From a couple nights ago, here’s Toronto’s Colton Orr in the role of Mike Tyson while Pittsburgh’s Deryk Engelland plays Buster Douglas:

Deryk Engelland, you awesome son of a bitch, if only 95% of MMA fights were as entertaining as that beatdown you administered on Orr.

◊ Butch Davis is just now banning Twitter?

From yesterday’s USA Today:

School spokesman Kevin Best says coach Butch Davis gave the order to stop using Twitter. Best says defensive tackle Quinton Coples and fullback Devon Ramsey both made inappropriate posts recently. Ramsey’s post involved a photograph. (USA Today)

Wait, hold on, Butch Davis just now got around to doing this?  You mean to tell me he didn’t do this when Marvin Austin’s Twitter pics (with Austin’s original captions included) surfaced months ago?:

Wow, maybe there really is no institutional control in Chapel Hill anymore. On the positive side, at least Davis’s team has played some good football the last few weeks despite all of the distractions and personnel upheaval.

◊ Are Greenman spoofs here to stay?

From last weekend’s Mississippi State-Houston game, here’s yet another take on IASIP’s Greenman:

The fat Sigma Chi in the sombrero is flat out hilarious to me.  Dude, the full body spandex doesn’t work when you’re carrying around a beer belly along with your 2.05 GPA.

Okay, here’s my take on this phenomenon: IASIP is a funny show that’s funnier to certain demographics.  If you’re a white male between the ages of 18 and 23, it’s the freaking “Citizen Kane” of sitcoms.  For people in their 30’s, it’s still funny, just not enough to make you put on full body spandex.  Get any older than that and the show becomes chuckle inducing, but is nothing remarkable.

Therefore, I guess the Cougar fans in the video above have the right venue to pull their gag, because after all, it is a college football game.  But guys, it’s getting to be time to move on, because Greenman (like the show itself) is starting to feel pretty damn played out now.

But will Greenman actually outlive the show, becoming its ongoing contribution to pop culture?  Will douchebags continue to throw on full body spandex a decade from now?  Jesus, I sure hope not.

College football notebook 7/13

In the notebook today we have a basketball school getting serious about football recruiting, a quarterback getting back on the radar screen and why UCLA’s trio of disgraced freshmen weren’t given formal releases…

North Carolina re-secures Russell, bags other top prospects

Don’t look now, but North Carolina is starting to make some serious inroads on the recruiting trail.  Butch Davis has secured six verbal commitments in the past ten days:

7/2: DB Kameron Jackson out of Madison, AL
7/5: OL Jamar Lewter out of Washington, DC
7/7: DB Darien Rankin out of Salisbury, NC
7/9: RB/LB Christian Russell out of Raeford, NC
7/10: QB Marquise Williams out of Charlotte, NC
7/11: OL Landon Turner out of Harrisonburg, VA

The commitments of Lewter And Turner were a couple of great gets, as Lewter sports standing offers from Auburn, Clemson, Pittsburgh and USC (among many others) while Turner’s offer list is highlighted by Florida, LSU, Michigan State and Virginia Tech.

Russell’s pledge is actually a re-commitment that appears to end his recruiting saga.  While playing for Fayetteville (NC) Westover High last season, he gave a verbal commitment to the Tar Heels.  But then his coach, Milton Butts, decided to leave Westover to take the Hoke County High job just down the road.

Not only did Russell end up following Butts over to Hoke, but at his coach’s behest he also opened his recruiting back up.  Butts is no stranger to having heavily recruited players, having been the high school coach of guys like Joey Evans, Aaron Curry and Tank Tyler.  As he tells it, the demand for Russell might actually exceed that of anyone he’s previously coached.

The rising senior took unofficial visits to Alabama, Duke, N.C. State and UCLA in previous weeks and at one point it looked like he’d end up anywhere but Chapel Hill.  But Davis convinced him late last week to once again give some verbal love to the Heels.

As a junior, Russell not only tallied 136 tackles but also ran for 1,728 yards and 23 touchdowns.  He’ll probably translate into a linebacker on the next level, but then again, you never can tell.  I thought Allen Bradford would end up at linebacker at USC, and we see how that turned out.

Speaking of the Tar Heel linebacking corp, All-ACC first teamer Quan Sturdivant was arrested a few days back for possession of weed.  Sturdivant toyed with the idea of entering the NFL draft before deciding to return for his senior campaign.  Now his availability for the season opening tilt with LSU in Atlanta is in doubt.

Marve is back on the radar screen

Quarterback Mitch Mustain transferred from one BCS conference school to another one and was never heard from again. Robert Marve did the same, leaving Miami and ending up at Purdue.

After having to rehab a torn ACL during his mandatory sit out season, Marve appears to have avoided Mustain’s fate. Adam Rittenberg of ESPN.com reported today that Marve will be Purdue’s No. 1 quarterback when preseason drills start in August.

Marve had a good spring practice but didn’t necessarily make sophomore Caleb TerBush irrelevant in the quarterback race.  But now he’ll get the first team snaps in preparation for the season opener on Sept. 4 in South Bend.

Neuheisel kicks three incoming freshmen off the team…so does UCLA need to grant them releases?

Coming out of Fontana (CA) Kaiser High last season, linebacker Josh Shirley was one of the nation’s most sought after recruits.  Miami, Nebraska, Notre Dame, Tennessee and every top school on the West Coast pursued him hard. In the end he decided to go with UCLA over Washington.

Wide receiver Paul Richardson and defensive back Shaquille Richardson were also highly coveted members of what turned out to be a pretty damn good recruiting effort by Rick Neuheisel.  Once the dust had settled, Rivals had it ranked as the nation’s 8th best.

But it appears that the three players might never wear powder blue and gold after they were all arrested for allegedly stealing another student’s purse in late June.  Neuheisel kicked the trio out of summer school and also barred them from enrolling for the fall quarter.  Apparently they MIGHT be allowed to enroll in January if certain unspecified requirements are met.

Reports also said that the three could face additional discipline from the UCLA Dean of Students. That’s the part the confuses me, though.  If they’re kicked out of summer school and barred from enrolling in the fall, what discipline could the crusty old dean enforce?  Are these guys even attending UCLA at this point?  And if one is kicked off a team, doesn’t that require a formal release?

I did some digging on the NCAA web site to figure this thing out.  Here goes: there has been no formal announcement from UCLA saying the players have been released from their scholarships because there doesn’t have to be.  Once an incoming student-athlete is barred from enrolling, the letter of intent that he signed is rendered null and void.

Therefore, Shirley and the two Richardsons are free to go wherever they want to. Of course, that would be contingent on another university accepting them in the wake of criminal charges.  And no other school will comment because the trio now qualify as recruitable athletes.