The shit storm that has engulfed Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino is of little consequence to the “Woo Pig Sooie” screaming Arkansas fans who just want the guy to be left alone. Adultery, lying to his employer, being a horrible driver, having a confirmed history of being an insufferable shit: these things pale in comparison to his ability to win 10+ games a season for the school.
Petrino’s most ardent defenders, to whom concepts like integrity and honor matter much less than the glory of participating in BCS bowl games, need a place to show their support. So wouldn’t you know it, here comes Facebook to give it to them. I present to you a few highlights from the TEAM SAVE COACH PETRINO page, which as of this writing was just a few nutcases away from having 12,000 members.
All flavors of his dead-behind-the-eyes supporters are represented, including the “win at all costs” types:
“Hi all I am a HUGE fan of the Razorbacks and Coach Petrino, One of the things that I would like to see before i die is a national championship. Many think I am a little overboad with my Fanhood,But i beg to differ. The feeling that I experiance when the HOGS take the field cannot ever be duplicated. Coach Petrino, We are thinking of you in Virginia. Save Coach Petrino. GO HOGS!!!”
You’ve also got the “it’s a personal matter so it’s none of our business” folks:
“We wouldn’t want to be fired from our job if we did something “inappropriate” on our own time…”
Also represented on the page are the “let’s blame that harlot Jessica Dorrell for all of this mess” fans. Uh huh, right, it was an evil temptress who turned Petrino into a douchebag overnight:
“Whats being done about her is my question? She knew he was married she knew it was wrong…. It takes two to tango… If he goes she should too.. I havent heard any news on her so i welcome info if any one does….”
Here’s another well represented sect, it’s the “we don’t know he was cheating on his wife because we have no pictures of him actually mounting the other chick” nitwits:
“OK, Everyone talking ethics…Now, who actually saw bobby doing anything with her? Good, I know no one did or the pics would be everywhere…She was on his bike, that’s adultery?!?!? Look, I know Arkansas is the bible belt but Riding on your bosses bike doesn’t make you an adulterer…Now if you actually saw the Schnitzelgruber then we can talk otherwise…KEEP BOBBY PETRINO!!!”
There were also links to an article by Chris Smith of Forbes who argues that Arkansas is better off keeping Petrino because he’s “financially efficient”:
Petrino also runs a financially efficient team. Arkansas spent $24.1 million on football in 2010, the fourth-most spent by an SEC team. But of those four teams, Arkansas easily spent the least per win. The Razorbacks spent less than $2.5 million per regular season victory, while Auburn cleared $3 million and Alabama and Florida each spent over $3.5 million per win. In fact, only three SEC teams spent less per win in 2010. Over the last two seasons, the team’s total value has risen 59% to $89 million, eighth-highest in college football.
There’s also no guarantee that Arkansas can save much money by hiring a new coach. Even if the Razorbacks aim to sign a smaller contract, the timing of the hire puts the school in a tight spot. Almost all college football coaching hires are completed in December and January, giving incoming coaches ample time to recruit and plan for an upcoming season with a new team. The restricted time frame and Arkansas’ clear need for an immediate replacement would give prospective coaches additional leverage in contract negotiations. Plus, Arkansas would likely be trying to sign away another team’s coach, which means the Razorbacks would also be on the hook for the coach’s contract buyout and they would likely need to spend as much as $250,000 on a search firm to ensure a smooth transition. (Forbes)
The page also provides information on how you can purchase a t-shirt to let everyone know that not only do you support Coach Petrino, but that you yourself also have no soul: