BCS Title Game aftermath: What the hell happens next?

The confetti has settled in Glendale and Auburn is in possession of the crystal hardware, so what happens next now that the 2010 college football season is over and done with? Well, here goes:

◊ College football addicts will get a temporary fix when National Signing Day rolls around next month. But if you’re a fan of a Sun Belt or a MAC team, then Signing Day is mostly an exercise in trying to get excited over the scraps that were passed over by not only by the Alabamas and Oklahomas of the world, but the Vanderbilts and Wake Forests as well. Yup, the rich just get richer.

◊ The non-War Eaglers now have a whole offseason to stoke the flames of the Auburn hate they developed when the Camgate story broke. Never mind the fact that $180K worth of cash hasn’t been found stuffed into Cecil Newton’s couch cushions ($1 to “The 25th Hour”).

◊ As I write this, scores of Oregon national championship t-shirts are being boxed up and sent to Africa. Some lucky guy is about to get a nice addition to a wardrobe that includes other t-shirts such as “Arizona Cardinals - 2009 Super Bowl Champions” and “Texas Rangers - 2010 World Series Champions.” If you’re confused, the Christian Science Montior can explain it to you right here.

◊ Some fat bonuses kicked in for Auburn head coach Gene Chizik as a result of his team’s win in Glendale. That means he can upgrade his current leather jacket to the 8-ball version favored by David Puddy:

◊ Auburn fans can savor this victory but will have to endure comments such as “It’ll be sweet until it’s vacated” or “Enjoy it, you guys paid a lot for that title.” Self righteous college football fans who cheer for programs they believe to be squeaky clean…they’re the best, aren’t they? I wish I could drift through life being that oblivious.

◊ Cecil Newton’s church will continue to be a rickety old condemned shack until this April, when Cam gets drafted and pays for the needed upgrades. I actually wish Cam would just buy his dad an Arby’s franchise instead. From the looks of it, the churchin’ business hasn’t been very good to Cecil.

◊ Thayer Evans and Pete Thamel will most likely keep shoveling away until they find something, ANYTHING, that implicates Auburn football as the Legion of Doom they believe the program can be. Brace yourselves, any white collar criminal who gets arrested in 2011 and even hints at being an Auburn fan will be outed by Evans/Thamel as the school’s bag man. You know, the same way Bill Bell was revealed to be Mississippi State’s go to guy for all things pay-for-play.

◊ No team in the nation punted fewer times in 2010 than Nevada. As a result, Wolf Pack punter Brad Langley let himself go a little bit, as evidenced by the pooch below. Expect him to hit the stationary bike hard this month:

◊ After a brief flirtation, Les Miles decided not to hightail it to Michigan.  So the school now appears to be down to its third choice, San Diego State coach Brady Hoke.  This is the same sort of scenario that ended up putting Ron Zook in charge at Florida back in 2002.  And we all remember how well that turned out.

◊ Speaking of the Gators, the eyes of the nation will turn to Gainesville in a few months when Will Muschamp conducts his first spring practice as Florida coach.  Now that he’s a program’s Big Kahuna, people are hoping he gets even more amped up than he did here:

◊ I think New Mexico could also have a very entertaining spring practice as well. Why? Because if they haven’t fired Mike Locksley after he’s gone 2-22 and punched an assistant coach, then he might very well believe he can get away with anything. Carrying a gun at practice as a means of scaring his team into playing better?  I don’t put it past him at this point.

◊ The conclusion of the football season means mega chill bro Teague Egan won’t be able to host USC viewing parties at his mega chill bro pad.  But that won’t cramp his bro-ness one bit.  In fact, I predict some sweet new additions this January to the cloth shoe rack hanging on his closet door:

◊ I’m guessing that most of the preseason #1 talk will center around Alabama and Oklahoma.  But the more I think about preseason polls, the more I realize just how far away the 2011 season actually is.  So let me stop right here.