Can’t afford a Hall of Famer? Will you settle for Buster Douglas?

Looking to get some time with George Brett? You can go through athletepromotions.com, but it’ll cost you:

The good thing about this is that the Hall of Fame third baseman is good for, well, almost anything:

George Brett is now available for celebrity appearances, corporate appearances, personal appearances, casino appearances, tradeshow appearances, convention appearances, celebrity golf tournaments, sports camps, coaching clinics, autograph signings, endorsement deals, website endorsements, television commercials, radio commercials, store grand openings, VIP Meet & Greets, new product launch campaigns, spokesperson campaigns and speaking engagements. (athletepromotions.com)

For an extra few thousand, Brett might even be talked into reenacting his most infamous moment just for you:

Brett’s in the middle tier in terms of the fees quoted on the site.  Mike Ditka is in the $20,000 to $30,000 range, while Joe Montana might cost you as much as $100,000.  Here’s a sampling:

• Charles Oakley: $5,000 - $10,000
• Buster Douglas: $5,000 - $10,000
• Bill Elliott: $10,000 - $20,000
• Dorothy Hamill: $20,000 - $30,000
• Jack Nicklaus: $100,000+

If you’re feeling charitable, you can hire Antoine Walker, whose fee tops out at $20,000.  Perhaps he can regale the guests at your next cocktail party with stories of how he squandered more cash than you’ll see in 10 lifetimes.