Few surprises in the head football coach job listing at Arkansas
Quicker than Bobby Petrino can wreck his motorcycle and kill his career, Arkansas AD Jeff Long whipped up a job listing as the first step in finding himself a new head football coach. Let’s take a look:
Posting Number: 0B27GH48
Title: Head Football Coach
Work Schedule, hours/week: Variable
Working Title: Head Football Coach
Title Code: S017C
Type of Position: Classified
Department Code: ATH
- Must possess a Bachelor’s Degree from an accredited four-year college.
- Must have at least three years of prior experience as an assistant coach on the FCS level.
- Cannot have the first name “Houston” or last name “Nutt.”
- Must have a disdain for all modes of transportation involving two or fewer wheels. This includes motorcycles, bicycles, mopeds or unicycles.
- Applicant must not bang other employees of the University of Arkansas.
- Must have the ability to recruit skilled scholar athletes in a state that produces very few of them.
- First name must be “Garrick” and last name must be “McGee.”
Compensation: Negotible, but you won’t be disappointed.
Come to think of it, that “Preferred Qualifications” section might be a bitch for more than a few applicants. Oh, in addition to posting that, I’m also going to add tags like “Jessica Dorrell nude” and “Jessica Dorrell ass” to this just to see how many sicko douchebags click through. And if you do end up here based solely on searching for that tag, then don’t bother applying to Arkansas. They’ve had their fill of poon hounds.