The early co-leaders for 2012’s Douchebag of the Year…
January 5, 2012 by
John Stansberry
…are actually on the same high school basketball team. America, meet Connell High (located in Connell, WA) teammates Cole Vanderbilt and Kennan VanHollebeke (shit, even their names are douchey). In the following video, Vanderbilt is wearing #34 and VanHollebeke is wearing #42. You don’t really need numbers to identify them, though, because they’re the guys trying to kill various members of Highland High:
All the clips are ridiculous, but check out flagrant foul #5 one more time. Ravishing Rick Rude never executed a clothesline that vicious in all his years in the ring:
Is it just a rule that any human being, regardless of age, who has a facial hair/gut combo like this HAS to be a dipshit of the highest order?:
Can you imagine being the poor chick in algebra class who’s getting pawed at by either of these winners? I suspect they’ll both go on to brief college careers at Eastern Washington which will be tragically cut short by a combination of not going to class and keg stand-induced vertigo.
But are you ready for the kicker to all this? Check out the comment given to Tri-City Herald writer Jack Millikin:
David Pierce, a 30-year veteran of the Tri-Cities Sports Officials Association, took issue with Christenson’s contention, saying the referees did their job during the game.
“There were no problems and no fights. It’s getting painted as flagrant fouls or intentional fouls, but it doesn’t have anything to do with that,” Pierce said. “The guy took a camera and jaded it. He didn’t show the whole game. He showed six plays.” (tricityherald.com)
Let me correct myself: David Pierce is also fiercely in competition for Douchebag of the Year, so it’s a three douche race so far. Man, it’s a crying shame Connell wasn’t lucky enough to be matched up in a holiday tournament with a school like Oak Hill Academy. That rough play would’ve lasted about a minute before Cole or Kennan would’ve been knocked the hell out.
Ralph Simpson on Thu, 5th Jan 2012 1:14 pm
As a 27 year official, none of those fouls were ordinary and there is no way to jade that footage. The first foul may have gone as just a personal foul, I don’t believe so, and he should have been talked to at that point. If he was then the second foul by that player should have resulted in nothing less than an intentional foul. Any resulting fouls after that they should have been gone. In none of these situations were the players going after the ball. Yes, yes I know, you don’t always see the same thing as the officials but “1″, “2″ maybe okay, not “6″.
My guess is that you are not getting more officials saying the same thing is that we would be black balled by our own organizations if we spoke up and let it be known that we screwed up.
Michael Dexter on Thu, 5th Jan 2012 2:09 pm
Saw that on the news last night could not believe it was called not flagrant. Now when they play again any accidental contact by Highland somebody will problilly say it will be pay back. The ref could of ended any such talk by throwing out of the game that neanderthal maybe even for the whole season. That would not even happen in the NBA and they can get physical.
John Smith on Thu, 5th Jan 2012 2:45 pm
It gets even better. Here’s the website for Tri-Cities Sports Officials Association: http://www.tcsob.org/
Pierce isn’t listed as an official. He probably was an official back in the days of Hoosier. Whatta douche.
John Stansberry on Thu, 5th Jan 2012 3:05 pm
@ Ralph - I can totally see that being a motivation for Pierce. Saying the opposite would be implying that the officials are incompetent, which opens up a huge can of worms.
John Stansberry on Thu, 5th Jan 2012 3:07 pm
@Michael - Another aspect of this was that Highland looked to be a tiny team. At a certain point there has to be a concern for safety yet none was shown.
John Stansberry on Thu, 5th Jan 2012 3:07 pm
@John - Way to go on the research, much obliged.
Floyd Garner on Thu, 5th Jan 2012 4:03 pm
Defense of the players actions attempt to portray him as sensitive and concerned. Vanderbilt was grinning after each foul. Please… and can you imagine a “string bean” who knows how to fight and takes a knee out of one of the “big boys”? The gnashing of teeth and screaming from Connell would be heard around the world. High school sports are supposed to teach sportsmanship and citizenship. Does this reflect what Connell is actually about. Should we carry bats to protect ourselves if we shop in Connell?
ted on Thu, 5th Jan 2012 6:17 pm
since when do they play internationl rules in the states player coach should be thrown out from the game for good
no room for this kind of stuff high school or any place
Steve S on Thu, 5th Jan 2012 9:25 pm
Want a real hoot? Check out the Connell HS sports webpage. They have a motto at the bottom: “CLASS: Cheer in a positive manner, Lead by example, Always display school pride, Show respect to all, Success through sportsmanship.” After watching the video of this game, does anybody really consider the posting of that motto on Connell’s webpage anything other than pure, cynical lip service?
Amazed on Fri, 6th Jan 2012 5:12 am
From the NCSA website at…
http://www.ncsasports.org/baseball-recruiting/wa/connell/connel-high-school/kennan-vanhollebeke
This is Kennan Vanhollebeke’s self-written Bio.
“Sport: Baseball
Position: RHP, 1st Base, Center Field, 3rd Base
Connel High School ( Connell , WA )
Graduation Year: 2012
Personal Statement
my name is kennan VanHollebeke, im 6 foot 4 inches, and i weigh 225 lbs. I grew up on a dryland wheet farm and cattle ranch about 30 miles north east of tri-cities washington, and im the youngest of a family of 5 kids. I play 3 sports “football, basketball, and baseball” Ive played varsity baseball ever since i was a freshman. Starting out i was the number 1 releive pitcher. Then my sophomore year I became one of the starting pitchers and a starting 3rd baseman. Half way threw my sophmore season i broke my hip during a game, so this year is my first complete season. Ive always loved baseball and I take it very seriously, but i also like to have a good time with my team mates during it all. I think I coul contribute to a baseball team with my pitching, also playing first base. Im looking for a smaller 2 year community or a 4 year college. Id like to keep stay up in the northwest area if possible, but I will take other offers if they give me a great offer. My goal is to get my criminal justice degree because i want to join law enforcement as soon as i get out of college. But like I say, Im interested in any size college, I just love playing the sport of baseball and think I could maybe make an impact on a team.”
He wants to be a COP. Aside from the fact that he has the English skills of a 3rd grader and misspells “wheat” when he lives in the heart of Washington’s wheat belt, do we REALLY want people like this armed with a badge AND a gun?
For your information, Connell WA. is known primarily for the correctional facility located there. Of a town consisting of 763 families (US census data), the facility employs 700 people–almost one member of each family, statistically speaking.