The Larry King-ish Stream of Consciousness Column for Labor Day 2010

My ongoing tribute to the biggest douchebag in the history of basic cable TV.  Here’s to you, Larry:

◊ I wrote that New Mexico was one of the preseason bottom 10 in America when I put that particular list together over the summer. I was off a little bit off…New Mexico is definitely one of the bottom 5 teams going right now. They were down 59-0 at the half at Oregon and only through the good graces of Chip Kelly did the final score not end up being 118-0 (as it turned out, the final was 72-0)

The powers that be in Albuquerque had the perfect opportunity to cut head coach Mike Locksley loose last year after he started taking swings at his assistants. We’ll see if this thing deteriorates even further and he gets terminated before the end of the season. Unless a dramatic turnaround occurs, that is a distinct possibility.

◊ Palladia pretty much plays clips of old Isle of Wight festivals on a continuous loop, and today Wolfmother’s set from the ‘07 festival was on. This was back when the band’s original power trio lineup was still intact.  How much of an a-hole does a lead singer have to be to force the rest of the band to quit?  That’s exactly what happened with them in 2008. The new lineup’s stuff?  Ehhh. The original lineup’s stuff? I kind of dug it.

◊ Going into Saturday’s opener against LSU, North Carolina senior quarterback T.J. Yates had never generated a 300-yard passing effort in his career.  Oh, he’s had plenty of mediocre outings (last season he had five contests in which he threw more picks than TD’s), but he’d never cleared three bills.

That’s why his stat line from UNC’s narrow 30-24 loss to LSU was surprising: 60% passing for 412 yards, 3 TD’s and no picks.  With his team’s lineup depleted by suspensions, Yates obviously stepped his game up in a big way.  If the Tar Heels remain shorthanded for an extended period of time, he’ll have to continue slinging it and slinging it.  With that in mind, I can smell a 3,000+ yard, 20+ TD pass season for Yates if he keeps playing this way.

◊ Unless Frank Beamer or Chris Petersen wear something completely friggin’ goofy in tonight’s Virginia Tech-Boise State tilt, the weirdest clothing choice among head coaches this opening week belongs to Wisconsin’s Bret Bielema.  With the game time temperature hovering around 99 degrees at UNLV’s Sam Boyd Stadium, Bielema decided to go with his Badger windbreaker.  He must be a sweat lodge kind of guy:

◊ In the wake of Ole Miss and Kansas suffering those humiliating losses to FCS opposition, guess who I’m going to give some credit to?  That would be Temple, which held off the FCS’s best team, Villanova, by a 31-24 count on Friday night. Good job, Owls, for achieving what two BCS conference schools couldn’t.

◊ Arizona traveled across the country to tangle with Toledo in one of those head scratcher games where you wonder why the BCS conference school is the one doing the traveling.  The Wildcats prevailed 41-2 behind a 32-of-37 passing night (for 360 yards and two scores) from Nick Foles.

Minnesota pulled the same stunt by going on the road to play Middle Tennessee State.  The Gophers didn’t lead until 12:44 of the third quarter and ended up grinding out a 24-17 win.  Memo to the folks in Tucson and Minneapolis (especially the Gophers)…you really don’t have to schedule these kind of road games, where the potential damage FAR outweighs the benefits.

◊ Against Notre Dame on Saturday, Purdue quarterback Robert Marve played exactly like the kind of player he currently is: a prodigous talent who’s been on the shelf for a few years.  There was some good (31-of-42 throwing it) and some bad (no TD’s and two picks).  But once he finds his rhythm in a few weeks, look out.

◊ I gotta admit I was focusing on watching the SMU-Texas Tech game on Sunday and let the Tulsa-ECU game slip my mind.  When I remembered they were playing and flipped it over, I was treated to one hell of an entertaining second half.

The two teams punched and counterpunched in the fourth quarter until the bitter end.  ECU was down 49-45 and had the ball at the Tulsa 33-yard line with time enough for one more play.  That’s when Pirate quarterback Dominique Davis made a great decision: heave it in the direction of 6′8″ wide receiver Justin Jones in the end zone.  Jones secured the catch in traffic and ECU had a 51-49 win to start the Ruffin McNeill era off in style.

Here’s what you missed if you completely brain farted and forgot they were playing: 27 first downs by each team, a combined 1,117 yards of total offense and three 4th down conversions by East Carolina, not to mention the Hail Mary at the end.  McNeill has brought the Air Raid east with him, and it looked pretty damn effective in the opener.  Maybe this isn’t a transition year for ECU after all…

◊ In the tradition of sci-fi movie trailers with attention grabbing money shots (think the Statue of Liberty’s head landing in the street in “Cloverfield”), the trailer for the alien invasion flick “Skyline” is now out.  It’s money shot?  Scores of people being Dysoned into a spaceship:

I haven’t heard too much buzz for this one (which hits theaters in November), maybe because there’s not a big name attached to it.  One of the leads is Eric Balfour, the dude who played Claire’s boyfriend Gabe in “Six Feet Under.”  I guess after the special effects, there was only enough cash left over for B-list talent.  Check out the full trailer here.